Transgenders

A little old lady takes her new car back to the garage where she had bought it a few days previously. She goes up to the salesman and demands of him " About that car you sold me, the one with the transvestite engine . . ."
"Madam, don't you mean transverse engine? " interjects the salesman.
"No " retorts the little old lady, " I mean transvestite, as it keeps slipping into the wrong gear."

A crossdresser goes to church on Easter. Just as she is entering the church, the priest begins to walk down the center aisle saying prayers and swinging an incense burner. With each swing a puff of scented smoke is given off. The crossdresser struts straight up the aisle to the priest and says "Honey, I love your dress, but did you know your handbag is on fire ? "

A transvestite and a paedophile are sitting in a bar having a chat.
The tranny says: 'I feel like I'm a young woman stuck in the body of a old man'
The paedo says: 'I can relate to that, I'm an old man who's usually stuck in the body of a young boy'

I met this wonderful girl today, and we had so much in common. We both liked football, beer, pub food, and she even laughed at my offensive jokes.
So, I took her back to my place and she sat me down and stripped totally naked.
And it was at this point I saw we had something else in common.

When I was a kid, I asked my mum:
"Mum, what's a transvestite?"
She said: "Thats your father, I'm over here."

My wife is so illogical. Last week she threw me out of the house, crying hysterically and calling me an 'animal'.
Now I ask you, how many animals have you ever known to lie on the living room floor masturbating while a Brazilian transsexual takes a dump on the coffee table above?