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The wife phoned her husband in the office and said, "Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for dinner."
"Good." replied the husband, "Make sure she's well done." |
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My mother in law is a big woman. She got run over last week. The driver said he had enough room to get around her, but he didn't know if he had enough petrol. |
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You know, I don't know what I'd do without my mother-in-law - but it's nice dreaming about it.
I mean, she's not ugly - it's just that when she makes up, the lipstick crawls back down the tube.
She's found a new cheap way of making yoghourt and sour cream - she just buys a bottle of milk and stares at it for a couple of minutes. |
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I don't say my mother-in-law is ugly ... but round our way, the peeping toms are giving themselves up to the police. |
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I'm not saying the mother-in-law's ugly, but she uses her bottom lip as a shower cap. |
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A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out.
The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shoots back in. So the husband goes back inside to chase it out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband got into the taxi and said, "Sorry I took so long, the stupid thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!" |
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A husband is looking for a saw and asks his wife:
-Have you seen our old saw?
Mother-in-law replies from the kitchen:
-Even if I am a saw, I am not old yet. |
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