Q: If fathers have Father's Day, and mothers have Mother's Day, .what do single guys have? A: Palm Sunday.
This guy goes to sperm bank to give a sample. So the girl At the front desk says to him: "Thank you for coming."
A man comes home early from work and finds his wife and his best friend in bed. The man throws up his hands in disbelief and says, "My God Pete !!! I more-or-less 'have to', but YOU ???"
What's the difference between women and men? One has morning sickness, the other has morning stiffness.
Q: Why is urine yellow and sperm white? A: So men can tell if they are coming or going.
In a Texas bar,The bartender Fred was fed up with penis boasting from the regulars.So to put an end to all the boasting Fred says to them "whip 'em out".Fred pulls a yard stick from under the bar,at the same time a gay guy walks into the bar.Fred ask the man if there is something that he can get for him.The gay guy replies "i was going to get a beer,but i'll check your buffett first"
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When should you care for a man's company? When he owns it.
Once some boys got together to play poker one night, after about 4 hours of playing, Tim had severe chest pains and suddenly slumped over, one of the gamblers who happened to be a doctor, examined him, and to everybodies shock, poor Tim had died of a heart attack. All his friends didn't know how to break the news to his wife, finally Johnny said: 'I can be diplomatic about it and break the news gently!'. Johnny rang the bell at Tim's house, and when his wife answered the door, he calmly said to her: 'Tim just gambled with us and lost 1,000 dollars!' When Tim's wife heard this she said: 'Tell him to just drop dead!' Johnny answered: 'That's exactly what he did!'.
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?"
On the beach, how can you recognize a guy who uses an inflatable sex doll? Instead of staring at the bikinis, he's staring at the beach balls.
Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1. No mind 2. No business.
What do you do if your bank account stops working? Throw the guy out of the house.
