Family

Son comes to his father to tell him that he became a father.
Fathers asks, "Son, so is it a boy?"
Son says, "Yes but he is black."
Father, "Why?"
Son, "Because my wife said that on the way to the hospital she saw a black man."
Father refers to his wife, "On the way to hospital when you were going to give birth to our son did u see a dunky?"

- What happened to your face, Masha?
- I was beaten mercifully by my husband today.
- Your husband? I thought he is out of town these days.
- Unfortunately I thought the same too.

A girl came back home from the school and asked her grandmother, "Granny, what is a lover?"
"A lover?" the grandmother said. "Let me think. Lov.... Lover.... Oh, my God!" She rushed to the wall, pulled aside the hanging rug, revealing a hidden closet door. She unlocked the door, and a skeleton of a young man fell out from the closet.

The wife scolds:
"You are the rabble! Rascal! Bastard! I`m leaving you! Give me some money for a ticket, I`m going to my mum."
The husband gives money to her.
"Scoundrel! And for the back ticket?"

- My wife always says to me, "Give me money, give me money."
- What does she do with all the money?
- Dunno. Never gave her a penny.

A husband left for work. He walked out from the multi-story apartment house where he lived on the sixth floor, and remembered that he forgot money for lunch. He shouted to his wife, "Masha! I left money. Please, drop fifty kopeks for me!"
The wife walked to the balcony and said, "Always you forget something. With you, nothing is right, you dunderhead." Still, she went into the apartment, found fifty kopeks in several small coins and shouted, "How can I drop these coins? They will scatter all over the street."
"No problem," the husband said. "Just wrap them in a three-ruble bill."