Mother in law

[Administrator]

A man: "Your mother-in-law fell into my pond which has some crocodiles into".
The other man - "The crocodiles are yours, so you'll have to save them".

[Administrator]

Gary was traveling down a quiet country road when he noticed a large group of people standing around outside a house. He stopped and asked a farmer why such a large crowd
was gathered. The farmer replied," Billy Bob's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died."
"I see," Gary said. "Well, she must have had a lot of friends."
"Naw," the farmer said, "we just all want to buy his mule."

[Administrator]

I know a mother-in-law who sleeps in her spectacles, the better to see her son-in-law suffer in her dreams. - Attributed to Ernest Coquelin

[Administrator]

How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?
One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.

[Administrator]

I'm not saying the mother-in-law's ugly, but she uses her bottom lip as a shower cap.

[Administrator]

Q. Is it possible to kill a mother-in-law with newspaper?
A. Yes, if you wrap an iron in it.

[Administrator]

My mother-in-law said to me, "If you were my husband I'd put poison in your coffee" I replied, "If I were your husband, I'd drink it!!"

[Administrator]

A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night and told him "there is a burglar downstairs in the kitchen and he is eating the cake that my mother made for us."
The husband said, "who shall I call, the police or an ambulance?"

[Administrator]

A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out.
The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shoots back in. So the husband goes back inside to chase it out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband got into the taxi and said, "Sorry I took so long, the stupid thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"

[Administrator]

'I just bought my mother-in-law a Jaguar.' 'Cor - I thought you didn't like her.' 'I know what I'm doing, it's bitten her twice already.'

[Administrator]

A husband is looking for a saw and asks his wife:
-Have you seen our old saw?
Mother-in-law replies from the kitchen:
-Even if I am a saw, I am not old yet.

[Administrator]

Adam and Eve were the happiest and the luckiest couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.

[Administrator]

A man tries to throw a lady from the window. She opposed.
The crowd shouts:
-Stop it, man! The lady is alive.
-This is not a lady, this is my mother-in-law, replies the guy.
The crowd shouts:
Look, she even resists...

[Administrator]

A constantly nagged and harried husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year Christmas came again and this year he didn't buy her any gift.
Mother-in-law was upset and asked the son-in-law why was she forgotten this time.
The angry son-in-law responded, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

[Administrator]

Sometimes you cannot tell if a man is trying so hard to be a success to please his wife or to spite his mother-in-law.