Mother in law

[Administrator]

Q: What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and your Mother-in-Law?
A: Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, your Mother-in-Law doesn't know the difference.
Q: What are the two worst things about your Mother-in-Law?
A: Her faces.

[Administrator]

A person receives a telegram informing about his mother-in-law's death.It also enquires him whether she should be buried or cremated.He replies, "Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes!"

[Administrator]

What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a vulture?
The vulture waits 'til you are dead before it eats your heart out.

[Administrator]

Mother to daughter: Your boyfriend such a jerk that I would be delighted to be his mother-in-law.

[Administrator]

Adam and Eve were the happiest and the luckiest couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.

[Administrator]

A man was eating dinner with his wife one evening. Suddenly he dropped his spoon, but, not wanting to have to go get another one, he quickly caught in it mid-air.
Then his doorbell rings and his friend, who lives one apartment below him, walks in.
"Hey," he says, "I just wanted to tell you - your mother-in-law is stuck in the elevator."

[Administrator]

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit.
"This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.
And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence.
"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half."
"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.
But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."
The wise king did not hesitate a moment. He proclaimed, "The attorney must marry the first lady's daughter."
"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.
"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother- in-law."

[Administrator]

Why Steve, you're so depressed today, what's the matter?Ah, well, I have had a quarrel with my mother-in-law. She swore to me she wouldn't talk to me for a month!!Then so bad about it? You should celebrate the event!!No, no, see...
that was four weeks ago, and today is the last day...

[Administrator]

I used to not get on with my mother-in-law, but over the last few months I've developed quite an attachment for her.It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her mouth shut!

[Administrator]

My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday. How is she now ? She's fine. But, the dog died.

[Administrator]

Your mumma is so dumb she can't even pass a blood test!