Mother in law

[Administrator]

My mother in law is so stupid she actually asked me for money. The thing is, is that I'm a bum !!!!! How dumb is she?

[Administrator]

Q. How many mean mother in laws does it take to free a beached whale?
A. Only one. Mother in Laws are known to have very strong, long tongues.
Q. What does a vampire and a mean mother in law have in common?
A. Other than fangs, nasty temperaments, an overbite and wanting to suck out all your life's blood, absolutely nothing.

[Administrator]

A man: My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday.
Other Man: How is she now ?
First Man: She's fine. But, the dog died.

[Administrator]

My mother-in-law's other car is a Broom!

[Administrator]

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in- law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the lady awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

[Administrator]

I have never made a fool of my mother-in-law,
I just leave her to display her natural talents herself.

[Administrator]

I always know when it's the mother-in-law knocking at the door – the mice throw themselves in the traps.

[Administrator]

I never forget a face,
But in my mother-in-laws case I'm willing to make an exception.

[Administrator]

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said the hunter husband, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

[Administrator]

Hello. Your mother-in-law fell into my pool with crocodiles. The crocodiles are yours, so you save them.

[Administrator]

Does it really surprise anyone that mother-in-law's Day occurs less than one week before Halloween?

[Administrator]

Last night the local peeping-tom knocked on my mother-in-laws' door, and asked her to shut her blinds.

[Administrator]

The lawyer cabled his client overseas: "Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?"
Back came the reply, "Take no chances -- order all three."

[Administrator]

The wife phoned her husband in the office and said, "Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for dinner."
"Good." replied the husband, "Make sure she's well done."

[Administrator]

Mother-in-law comes to her son-in-law and says:
- Dear son-in-law, do whatever you want to, but bury me in the Kremlin wall.
He comes back next morning:
- Dear mother-in-law, do whatever you want, but the burial is tomorrow at noon!