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Author Topic: Family  (Read 30914 times)

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Re: Family
« Reply #45 on: December 08, 2008, 04:21:59 PM »
Schwartzenegger is in bed with his lover. Her husband rings to the door. He asks her:
- Where is an another door?
- We have no...
- Where do you want to have it?
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Re: Family
« Reply #46 on: December 08, 2008, 04:46:18 PM »
Q:Is it possible to kill a mother-in-law with a newspaper?
A:Yes, if you wrap an iron in it.
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Re: Family
« Reply #47 on: December 08, 2008, 04:46:45 PM »
A wife quarells with a husband. In a rage she cries out:
"And I... And I... And I was fucking with your best friend Nickie!"
Husband, taken aback:
"And I... And I... And so was I !"
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Re: Family
« Reply #48 on: December 08, 2008, 04:47:07 PM »
Wife confesses at the bedside of her dying husband.
- I have cheated on you only twice: once with an orchestra and the other time with a football team.
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Re: Family
« Reply #49 on: December 08, 2008, 04:47:39 PM »
- To my regret I have to postpone my wedding with Vasily.
- Why?
- I marrying Peter now.
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Re: Family
« Reply #50 on: December 08, 2008, 04:48:05 PM »
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Re: Family
« Reply #50 on: December 08, 2008, 04:48:05 PM »
- Honey, I want this fur-coat.
- To wear a coat like this you should be born a mink.
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Re: Family
« Reply #51 on: December 08, 2008, 04:48:28 PM »
Not all the wives doubt their husbands. Some of them know exactly.
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Re: Family
« Reply #52 on: December 08, 2008, 04:48:53 PM »
A couple goes on vacation. They are on the railway station with big mountains of luggage and the husband says:
- We should have taken our piano.
- Very funny.
- Yes, we have left out tickets on it.
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Re: Family
« Reply #53 on: December 08, 2008, 04:49:19 PM »
A wife of a man has died.The man comes to his friend and says:
"Lend me some money,please. I would like to arrange the funeral, commemoration, all such..."
"Well,I would lend it to you, but I know you perfectly well. You will lose everything in cards."
"No, furthermore, I`ve already set aside some amount for cards."
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Re: Family
« Reply #54 on: December 08, 2008, 04:50:11 PM »
A guy cries over a grave:
- Why did you pass away so early....
- Who are you mourning over?
- This is the first husband of my wife.
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Re: Family
« Reply #55 on: December 08, 2008, 04:50:38 PM »
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Re: Family
« Reply #55 on: December 08, 2008, 04:50:38 PM »
One gangster says to another:"I have a dream, I want to rob a bank and leave the fingerprints of my mother-in-law."
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Re: Family
« Reply #56 on: December 08, 2008, 04:51:23 PM »
Ken Dodd:"I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don't wnt to interrupt."
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Re: Family
« Reply #57 on: December 08, 2008, 04:51:48 PM »
50th wedding anniversary in Armenia:
- Grandpa, you lived with Grandma so long. Tell me the truth: Did you ever have the desire to leave her?
- To leave? - never. To kill - yes.
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Re: Family
« Reply #58 on: December 08, 2008, 04:52:15 PM »
"My wife and I were happy for 20 years."
"So what happened after that?"
"We met each other."
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Re: Family
« Reply #59 on: December 08, 2008, 04:52:45 PM »
A nasty rainy morning. Husband wakes up, gathers his stuff and goes hunting. He walks to the street, the rain becomes unbearable so he decides to return, opens the door and dives back into the bed. Wife, half asleep:
- Hi. Can you imagine, my moron went out hunting!
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