Gays

[Administrator]

A gay man walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist whether he sells extra-large condoms. The pharmacist replies, "Yes we do. We stock the 'Magnum' brand by Trojan. Would you like to buy some?"
He responds, "No sir. But would you mind if I waited around here until someone does?"

[Administrator]

Two condoms walk past a gay bar. One of them says to the other, "Hey, do you fancy dropping in there and getting shit-faced?"

[Administrator]

How do faggots get a condom off?
They fart.

[Administrator]

A big 300 pound, seven foot brute of a man walked into a bar one evening and said to the bartender "Give everyone a drink except that gay guy over there"
About fifteen minutes later he gives the same order, "Give everyone a drink except that gay guy over there"
The gay guy asks the bartender for two ice cubes. The bartender asks why, and the gay guy says "I am going to put one in each cheek, go over there, and cold-cock that big sonofabitch!"

[Administrator]

These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for nine years. One day Larry said to Joe, "You know man its been a long time since we had some sex so you oughta let me fuck you." Joe replied. "Are you crazy?!!" Larry went on to say, "I promise you that it won't hurt and we'll flip a coin and see who fucks, who first. So, Joe thought about it for a minute and finally agreed. They flipped a coin and Larry won. Still having strong reservation Joe asked, "How will you tell if it hurts or not?" Larry told Joe, "If it hurts you start making animal noises, and I'll stop. But if it feels good start singing." Larry started the insertion and Joe screamed, Moooooooo. Moooooo. Mooooon River......

[Administrator]

Two guys were caught in the act in a public park by a policeman. As the cop tried to arrest them for their public act of indecency, they bolted away.
The cop pursued after them and managed to catch one of them. He told him, "When I catch your boyfriend, I'm going to shove this nightstick right up his ass."
Just then a voice called out from behind a tree, "Officer, I'm over here."

[Administrator]

Hey Santa! How much for the Naughty Boy's List?
I'm just a Queen without a country!
I'm not Gay, but my boyfriend is.

[Administrator]

Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres has a new line of sneakers "coming out"?
They're called "dykeees". They have a longer than normal tongue and you can get them off with one finger!

[Administrator]

A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and tells the priest he's been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever since his wife died. The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the pig is a male or female. "No! I'm not doing it anymore!" says the farmer. "And the pig is a female, of course. What the hell do you think I am -- a goddam queer?

[Administrator]

What do you call a gay bar that has no chairs?
- A fruit stand.

[Administrator]

Two bums were sitting on a street curb, bored as ever. Then, one of them got an idea, saying "I know, let's play swords!"
"Play swords?" asked the other. "How?" "Simple. Whip it out, smack it till it's hard, and we both whack'em together like swords."
So they did, and they were running up and down the street, smacking their dicks together playing swords.
Then, a gay man walked up to them and inquired about their actions. "We're playing swords!" yelled one of the bums.
The gay man wanted to play too. An hour later, the gay man was becoming exhausted. "I'm tired," he said. He bent over saying, "kill me!, kill me!!"

[Administrator]

A belligerent drunk walks into a bar and hollers: "I can lick any man in the place!" The nearest customer looks him up and down, then says: "Crude, but direct. Tell me, is this your first time in a gay bar?"

[Administrator]

Four gay guys walk into a bar and start arguing over who's penis is longer.
Well the bar tender finally got sick of hearing them arguing so told them he had a way to solve this problem.
He told them to stick their penis' on the bar and he'd tell them who's was bigger.
Well just as the put them up there, another gay guy walks in and yells "I'll have the buffet!"

[Administrator]

Question: What is the most popular pick up line in a gay bar?
Answer: Can I push your stool in?

[Administrator]

A homosexual walked into a delicatessen and asked the shopkeeper for a large knob of salami. "Would you like it sliced, sir?" the shopkeeper asked politely. "What do you think I am?" replied the fag, "...a money box!"