Men

[Administrator]

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men:
"don't" and "stop".

[Administrator]

Q. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner?
A. In the pages of a romance novel.

[Administrator]

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it."
"Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second.
"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and....'"

[Administrator]

Q: If fathers have Father's Day, and mothers have Mother's Day, ….what do single guys have?
A: Palm Sunday.

[Administrator]

Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG."
Another guy says, "What's that?"
The first guy says, "That means I am a Single, New Age Guy."
Another one says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK.
A girl asks, "What's that?"
He says, "That means I am a Double Income, No Kids."
A lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I am a WIFE."
Larry says, "A WIFE? What's a WIFE?"
She says, "That means, "Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

[Administrator]

This guy goes to sperm bank to give a sample. So the girl At the front desk says to him: "Thank you for coming."

[Administrator]

A man comes home early from work and finds his wife and his best friend in bed. The man throws up his hands in disbelief and says, "My God Pete !!! I more-or-less 'have to', but YOU "

[Administrator]

What's the difference between women and men?
One has morning sickness, the other has morning stiffness.

[Administrator]

If a man says something in the middle of a forest, and there is no women around to hear him, is he still wrong?

[Administrator]

Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and started hitting on him. He asked if they wanted to come over to his house later. They agreed to come over at after they went home and got ready. Charlie had a friend who worked in a drugstore, so he went to see him. He asked his friend if he had anything that would keep him hard all night long. The man laughed and handed him a bottle of pills instructing him not to take more than one. Once at home, Charlie figured with three women he should take three pills, so he gulped them down. The next day Charlie showed up at the drugstore to see his friend. Asking for some liniment, he showed him his dick which was ripped to shreds. In disbelief, his friend asked if he was sure that he wanted to put liniment on his dick. Charlie replied "No,I need it for my arms the women never showed up!"

[Administrator]

What makes a man think he's so great?
1) He has a belly button that won't work.
2) He has tits that won't give milk.
3) He has a cock that won't crow.
4) He has balls that won't roll.
5) He has an ass that won't carry a thing.

[Administrator]

How is a man like a snow fall?
-You never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

[Administrator]

Q: Why is urine yellow and sperm white?
A: So men can tell if they are coming or going.

[Administrator]

Why can't a man eat like a bird?
Have you ever tried to pick up food with your pecker?

[Administrator]

"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."
"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."