Transgenders

[Administrator]

Mommy, Mommy! What's a transvestite?
Shut up and unhook Daddy's bra.

[Administrator]

Transgenders are like mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Transgenders are like government bonds.
By the time they finally mature, they aren’t worth much for anything.
Transgenders are like copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
Transgenders are like lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Transgenders are like curling irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

[Administrator]

What's the difference between a transvestite sailor and Monica Lewinsky's wardrobe?
When you have a transvestite sailor, you have a dress on a seaman.

[Administrator]

What's the best thing about shagging a transvestite?
When you reach round, it feels like it's gone all the way through!

[Administrator]

A little old lady takes her new car back to the garage where she had bought it a few days previously. She goes up to the salesman and demands of him " About that car you sold me, the one with the transvestite engine . . ."
"Madam, don't you mean transverse engine? " interjects the salesman.
"No " retorts the little old lady, " I mean transvestite, as it keeps slipping into the wrong gear."

[Administrator]

I'm not saying Ronaldo is thick but, after his recent escapade with transvestite prostitutes, when his team-mates asked him:
"Did you actually enjoy that blow-job? Didn't you have any idea that it was a man?"
He replied: "Well, come to think of it, it did taste a bit funny."

[Administrator]

A crossdresser goes to church on Easter. Just as she is entering the church, the priest begins to walk down the center aisle saying prayers and swinging an incense burner. With each swing a puff of scented smoke is given off. The crossdresser struts straight up the aisle to the priest and says "Honey, I love your dress, but did you know your handbag is on fire ? "

[Administrator]

I was drunk in a poorly lit nightclub and ended up pulling a transvestite. I took her home and drilled her arse all night.
I was furious and disgusted in the morning when I found out she was nigger.

[Administrator]

A transvestite and a paedophile are sitting in a bar having a chat.
The tranny says: 'I feel like I'm a young woman stuck in the body of a old man'
The paedo says: 'I can relate to that, I'm an old man who's usually stuck in the body of a young boy'

[Administrator]

The following lament was seen on the back of a toilet door "My mother made me a transvestite"
Underneath some wit had added "If I give her the wool, will she make me one too?"

[Administrator]

PANAMA CITY, Fla. - A male probation officer in northwest Florida wearing a blond wig, black miniskirt, fishnet stockings and no shoes has been charged with driving under the influence and drug possession.

[Administrator]

One transgender was on a ladder nailing. Each time he reached into his nail pouch and pulled out a nail, he'd look at it, and either toss it over his shoulder or proceed to nail it into the wood.
The other transgender watched for a while, puzzled. Then he couldn't stand it any longer and yelled up,
Why are you throwing some of the nails away?
The first transgender explained,
When I pull it out of my nail pouch, if it's pointed toward me I throw it away. If it's pointed toward the house, then I can use it safely!
The second transgender got very frustrated at this and started to call him all kinds of names. He explained,
Don't throw away the nails that are pointed toward you! They're for the other side of the house!

[Administrator]

A judge was interviewing a transgender regarding his pending divorce and asked,
What are the grounds for your divorce?
The transgender replied,
About four acres and a nice little home with a 72 inch HD screen and the NFL Season Ticket.
No,
the Judge said,
I mean what is the foundation of this case?
MAC Studio Fix Powder Plus in four, carefully layered shades,
the Transgender responded.
I mean,
The judge continued,
What are your relations like?
The transgender thought for a moment,
When I’m dressed or when I am in boy clothes?
The judge asked, 
Do you have a real grudge?
No,
the transgender replied,
We both have walk in closets and a rooms of our own and have never really needed one.
Please,
the judge tried again,
is there any infidelity in your marriage?
Yes, both my son and daughter have iPODS. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is yes.
Does your wife ever beat you up?
Yes,
the trangender responded,
about twice a week she gets up earlier than I do.
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked,
Just answer this question: why do you want a divorce?
Oh, I don't want a divorce,
the transgender replied.
I've never wanted a divorce. My wife does. She says she can't communicate with me!

[Administrator]

After a long night of making love, this guy rolls over, looks and notices a framed picture of another man on the nightstand by the bed. Naturally, the guy begins to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously.
"No, silly." she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asks.
"No, not at all," she whispers, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it your dad or your brother?" he asks, hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, no!!!" she says.
"Well who is he then?" demands the bewildered guy.
Calmly the girl replies, "That's me before the surgery."

[Administrator]

I dated this girl that loved anal.
She turned out to be a transvestite.
The ten inch cock up my arse was a dead give away.